Saved By the Kevlar

The Good, The Bad and The Facepalm.

The Quick Post (but it’s long)

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Okay, okay, I knew I said that I would update more often but I hadn’t found the time to do so, so don’t crucify me yet.

On Friday, before Km and I headed back to Penang, we and Jason were on the bus from KPD back to Main Block when Jason sat down next to this person (I shall refrain from identifying the sex, name nor any other descriptions that may give this person away).

Let’s just say that there are some pretty (for the lack of a better word) funny (and I’m being generous) people out there. I know that there are those who try and then there are those who try too hard. And finally you reach one who deserves, in all it’s glory, the biggest facepalm on earth.

 If no palm big enough can be found, not to worry, it can be replaced with the tripple facepalm

Step 1: facepalm

Step 2: execute a double facepalm with your other hand (this does not require one to remove the previous palm)

Step 3: borrow a friends palm and execute the tripple facepalm

Fine, I’ll cut to the chase.

Jason, Km and I were talking about random stuff, well, as random as we can get, and this person sitting next to Jason (who so unfortunately found the seat next to this person infront of us) couldn’t help but hear (trust me, couldn’t) and catch the interest in our conversation.

So our conversation drifted to cocktails and the drink in question was the Bloody Mary.

Hehe, just kidding, just a little tongue in cheek (so please don’t crucify me). Yes, yes for those who’ve been blogging for years and have managed to achieve a celebrity status and hence start to scrutinise and criticise every single blog you come upon, forgive me for stirring thy anger and unleashing thy lords wrath and fury simply because, I know I said the word drink but cant a guy crack a lame joke without getting shot for it ? Jeez gimme a break. If you cant that just goes to show how much your sense of humour amounts to…. Either that or Jason’s got his Army knife open at all angles and shoved up your ass derriere.

So, yes the cocktail, Bloody Mary as illustrated below.

So we were talking, and Jason wondered if you could switch the regular Tabasco sauce with the Habanero Tabasco sauce and rename it Screaming Mary, or Mary’s Screaming Orgasm. Jason, Jason. XD

Just so you’ll know, Habanero boasts as the worlds hottest hot sauce so if you’re up for it I suggest you go get a bottle, it’ll leave you like this

So, with all that aside, we started to list down the ingredients for a Bloody Mary.

Ingredients: Vodka, Tabasco Sauce, Pepper, Salt, Tomato Juice, Lemon Juice (just a little) and a Celery Stick

Then out of the blue, this person just turns around to us and says “Really ? That’s what it’s made of ? I never knew”

Now at this point we thought that this person was ok (I said at this point, that point, that one point which changed every nice perception we had)

And this person now finally goes on saying “I’ve wondered why they call it a cocktail, do you know ? I mean, to put 2 words together one of them being vulgar and the other a random object and name it for drinks. Don’t you find that disturbing ? I mean think about it (this person refused to stop, and people started to stare cause this person was talking at the top of his voice) COCK and TAIL !! COCKTAIL it’s like saying the COCK has a TAIL ! Do you know what vodka is made of ? I know. Do you know ? (I answered potatoes, this only shuts this person up for about 3 secs) Owh ok. I’ve always wondered why do people call each other fucker. I mean (Km tried to shut him up by saying “Isnt it kinda like why girls call each other bitches ?” and this proves futile too) like people call me fucker, and I tell them I’m not a fucker I’m a virgin !! Kinda like that song ‘tell tell your boyfriend, that I’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fucking scared of him’ ”

At this point there was this girl who gave him the wth look. And we didn’t know where to put our faces.

Luckily the bus just arrived and we left with haste, yes, I never knew I could run that fast,  I do le Parkour but never in my life have I blazed out of the bus that quick.

So to this person, I salute you. You deserve a facepalm.

So here it is.

 

 

 

So, there, I’ve updated, now stop grumbling and once you’ve read it, shut off your computer and go outside and play.

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Written by Aris Raphael

February 14, 2010 at 4:25 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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